I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
