I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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