apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
