At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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