Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
