u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
