My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
