dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
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I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
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what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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