Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Never joke about your clitoris.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize