We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
