if you like me you must not know who I am
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
