I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
