I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I am naked and annoyed.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
