Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
