She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
