1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
