ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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