I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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