I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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