Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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