some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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