Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
wow bdsm is so cute
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
