I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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