4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm like, not good at living.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
