Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My dick has a subreddit
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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