I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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