chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
