Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
