Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm going to jail i love you
I just made out with a guy for $7.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
