wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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