quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
