just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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