I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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