i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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