my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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