May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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