Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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