He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
