i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
