Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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