I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
