Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
