he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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