That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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