how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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