So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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