he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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