You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
