It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
