when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
