he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
