Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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