i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
