now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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