the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
