So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
