Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Watching her eat just hurts me
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
